Attention Americans of the United States: there is an epidemic in this country. Worse than the obesity epidemic and the longreads-analyzing-Lena-Dunham epidemic. Worse even than people who put ketchup on eggs.
Every day, in every state, in every city, even the BEST CITY, hundreds of regular people leave their homes, completely unaware that the pleats and slits in the fabric of their coats and skirts are SEWN TOGETHER FOR MERCHANDISING PURPOSES AND ARE SUPPOSED TO BE UN-TACKED UPON WEARING BUT AREN’T BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND WEREN’T RAISED WELL.
Just this morning on my commute to work I saw THREE. SEPARATE. INSTANCES. OF TACKED COAT HEMS. THREE! One was a nice looking girl, a sweet person probably, wearing a wool coat with 5 kick pleats in the back, and each one was tacked! The coat is LITERALLY completely different for this girl than it was meant to be by the designer and she has NO IDEA. There should be beautiful pleat movement but there is only stillness and sadness. I feel. So bad. For that girl.
Anyway the list goes on. Pompous-looking jerk dudes wearing expensive stupid coats on the subway acting like they invented water checking their stupid phones every 30 seconds like they’ve got places to be, with their stupid COAT HEMS TACKED STILL. Women dressed like catalog spreads, trying to make it in the big city, barely able to scale the stairs at Grand Central because their pencil skirt back slits are still sewn together and their legs can barely move. So? Sad?
There should be a PSA about this. The “X”-shaped threading in the back of your coat or skirt is NOT DECORATIVE. IT ISN’T SOME COOL AWESOME LOGO. IT’S NOT GOING TO ADD TO YOUR STREET STYLE. IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU LOOK CLUELESS AND IT WILL ONLY RESTRICT YOUR RANGE OF MOTION!!!!!!!!!
Possible slogans for The National Coalition for Temporary Fabric Tacking Awareness:
- Cut it Off. Every Skirt. Every Coat. Every time.
- Use your head, clip your threads
- TEMPORARY FABRIC TACKING: NOT EVEN ONCE
- Where X Marks the Spot, Make it NOT